When Someone asks me, "How are you?" God forbid I start venting about how horrible my day is going. One of the most typical responses is "Be grateful, it can be worse, or-you don't have it that bad, don't complain." How do they know, how bad it is? Suffering and hardship means different things to different people. Lately , it seems that there is no time to recuperate from bad news, when we hear something worse every day-which leads me to reflect on resilience. Resilience: The process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma and tragedy. It means bouncing back from difficult experiences. Being resilient doesn't mean that a person doesn't experience hardship or distress. I heard once that resilient people tend to find some silver lining in even the worst of circumstances. It's well known that resilient children have protective skills and supportive environment that helps them cope with difficult situations. Some kids are resilient by nature, at times it has to do with temperament. However, not every child has a natural resilience. Resiliency is not just something you have or don't have.
Research has shown that resilient children: have good relationships, are independent, have a sense of purpose, feel worthwhile and have a strong support system. In a study, Southwick and Charney gathered information from interviews conducted with groups of people including prisoners of war, special forces and victims of abuse and natural disasters, 9/11 responders, and residents of inner cities living in poverty. It was noted that each person experienced stressful situations but had not demonstrated any signs of mental illness. While there is a genetic component to resilience, it's influence is less important then one might think.
In a nutshell, many people are more resilient than they think and have a far greater capacity to rise to the occasion. How can someone endure such a horrific tragedy such as the Orlando Massacre or the Ecuador earthquake. What can we say to something like that? Personally I am concerned about how this rapid and scary changes in today's world affect the young and the old. To navigate this shifting society, individuals will need to be adaptable . Uncertainty and change are a reality of life. Research shows that young people can successfully adjust their behavior, thoughts and emotions, with some at risk, but with support they can be taught how to cope. The real skill is learning to accept that which you truly can't change and focus instead on what you can. "It's not the strongest of the species that survives, not the most intelligent, it s the one that is most adaptable to change"